What to Ask your Lawyer

A Woman Exposes the Violation of Men’s Rights at the Hands of Family Law

When Molly Murphy and her husband decide to go through with a painful yet amicable divorce, Molly sets off to see a legal advisor. Little does she know she is about to discover a shocking truth: the government and family law can ruin a man’s life completely. As her legal advisor cheerfully explains, Molly will be entitled to child support, payments for other expenses and much more. Molly feels herself growing angry and indignant for the millions of men who suffer injustice at the hands of the law for “the good of the children.”

Winner Take ALLWinner Take All is an exposé about how the current legal system unfairly favors women when it comes to divorce and child support. Murphy draws on the stories of friends and acquaintances to illustrate her point. One of her divorced male friends confides, “One day you have a wife, children, and financial security. Then, in the blink of an eye, it’s all gone. You’re no longer a husband, and the courts effectively strip you of your ability to be a father to your children. You struggle to find meaning in your life. Everything you cherish and have ever worked for is taken from you.” Unfortunately, many men who have gone through a divorce lose their homes, their possessions and even their will to live.

As Murphy poignantly writes, “Every woman who has ever gone through divorce makes a personal choice. They have all had to ask themselves if they would succumb to the greed that lawyers and courts are willing to place at their feet or if they would listen to their conscience–or spiritual compass, as I like to call it–and accept only what they truly need.”

This book is not just for men. If you have an open mind, a desire for change, and intolerance for injustice, Winner Take All is for you.

“A powerfully written and emotionally moving book which exposes the injustice, pain, and human suffering that lies at the heart of our broken family law system.”
– Barbara Kay, columnist, National Post

About Molly Murphy

Molly Murphy is a registered nurse with a specialized designation in psychiatry having more than twenty years’ experience in the healthcare field. She resides in Ontario with her three daughters and divides her time between her two passions. Her number one priority is family and her second is to help change family law so that the rights of both the custodial and non-custodial parents are valued equally by our judicial sytem. Currently it is the father who is forced into accepting the role as the non-custodial parent to their own children in the majority of cases. By advocating, Molly hopes to one day see law reforms come into effect that truly reflect the best interests of our children. She also wants to create awareness through her writing concerning the dysfunction and discrimination that exists globally today within the family law system.

Murphy, Molly Anne August 13th, 2011

Passed away peacefully with family at her side at Kingston General Hospital on August 13th, 2011. In “typical” Molly fashion, even as she faced her own mortality her thoughts were focused not on her own needs but rather, on the needs of those she would have to leave behind. All of her life Molly used her technical skills as a Registered Nurse with a specialization in Psychiatry to help others, but it is the skills and values that can’t be taught that she truly excelled in.

Her ability to help others discover and reach their highest potential, her passion to fight for the underdog, her abhorrence for injustice of any kind, her ability to lead others by instilling confidence and an attitude of “you can do anything” in those around her, her desire that everyone whose life she touched walk away feeling special and loved, and most importantly her unwavering faith and love in God and family before all else.

She had big shoulders, big enough to accompany the many in life that leaned on her for support, guidance and her unique words of wisdom. She will be loved and missed by many but this angel on earth is now free to spread her wings in heaven. Molly was best friend and soul mate to her husband Kevin Morrison, mother to Katie, Laura and Angela and grandmother to Alivia. She is predeceased by her parents Rubin and Marie Murphy as well as by her brother Rubin James Murphy. Her siblings include her brother John and his wife Francine Maidment of Vankleekhill and sisters and husbands Mr. Don and Linda Nickels of Newbury, Mr. John and Mary Jean Joyce of Newbury, Kathy Laroque and her late husband Keith of Brigden, and Mr. Jerry and Betty Kollee of Nanticoke.

The funeral/ cremation service will be held at Westview Funeral Chapel, 709 Wonderland Road North on Saturday, August 20th, with visitation between 2-3pm, service at 3pm followed by a reception on site. Sympathy may be expressed through donations to the London Humane Society. Online condolences available at www.westviewfuneralchapel.com

What Dave Nash had to say

A couple of weeks ago, Molly and I were having a conversation via text message. As usual, the conversation turned to the subject of Family Law, which Molly was a dedicated advocate and tireless crusader to have reformed to reflect virtues that this country is supposed to stand for, and those are Equality, Justice, Human Rights, and most importantly, the best interests of Canadian Children.

No one knew more just how far Canadian Family Law misses the mark in regards to those virtues than Molly. She has personally witnessed the evils and injustice of this disturbingly sick industry, and dedicated her life to exposing it and bringing about reform. In that true Irish fighting spirit, Molly stated, “We will Win this fight Dave!” To which I replied, “We have already won Molly!” Molly was a little confused by my statement, but unfortunately, our conversation was cut short and I told Molly that I would explain my reasoning to her the next time we got together.

I would like to take the time to have that conversation with Molly now: We have already won Molly, because we have not allowed the Family Law industry to harden our hearts to be like those heartless people who feed off of the industry. We have not allowed the industry to make us compassionless, vindictive, self-serving individuals, who only see children as a dollar sign with a baseball cap or pigtails. We have already won Molly, because we haven’t allowed the industry to divide us and have men and women hate one another. Most importantly though Molly, we have won because we continue to fight for change, as the industry wants nothing more than to have us so beaten down that we have no fight left in us.

We have won Molly!!! And no one has demonstrated our victory over Family Law more than you have. You are our Champion!!! I am going to miss you so much Molly.

Excerpt from the Book - Winner Take ALL

Introduction

It was never my intention to write this book. But then again, getting divorced wasn’t on my “to do” list either. My background is in nursing and management, with twenty years of experience in these areas. My goal for going into nursing was simple; I wanted to help people. The goal has never changed, only my focus. I have family law to thank for that.

My core values have always been those of fairness and equality, whether making a decision in a healthcare setting or buying a chocolate bar for my kids. I live by this one rule: “What you do for one, you do for all.”Unfortunately, in my experience, family law doesn’t share my values. Divorce propelled me into a world where the core values are greed and excess, along with a “take what you want because you’ll get it anyway” attitude. In this world, lawyers act more like coaches, training their female students on what to say and how to act to secure victory in court.

This book pulls back the veil of secrecy. You will learn the truth about what really happens when the door closes and the ex-wife and her lawyer begin to plan their strategy. Listen as the lawyer begins to describe the “financial buffet” that is there for the taking. Learn how easily a woman can gain custody of a child or turn a father’s child against him through the process known as parental alienation. Listen in on all the private conversations that feminists, lawyers, and ex-wives often deny ever take place.

But this book is also about raw human emotion. You will become an intimate part of the lives of three men I care deeply about whom I witnessed going through divorce firsthand. Observe these men as they struggle to avoid the pitfalls that family law has in store for them: poverty, bankruptcy, alienation from their children, and even death. Feel what a father feels when he is denied access to the child he loves or is forced to give his last dollar to an ex when he can’t eat or pay his own bills. Learn why lawyers, judges, and politicians are forced to cater to feminist groups. Read the suicide note left by a man who had everything taken away from him because of a court order.

This book is a labour of love. For eighteen months, I spent every evening and weekend at my computer writing the truth. During this time, if I wasn’t writing or at work, I was responding to the hundreds of e-mails sent to me each week by fathers begging me to help them make sense of the insanity they were drowning in.